Tuesday, April 03, 2007

So you pack up. and i hope you didn't play radiohead... you walk down the stairs, the last of the cardboard boxes unloaded from house into van.

maybe you absent mindedly lock the dor key in your pocket as usual, but then maybe you didn't. putting them down on the semi circle table that wasn't always there. it must have seemed so strange - pouring out the 7:20 tescos orange juice and crunchy nut for the last time in that kitchen. i wonder - did you make a last cup of tigger tea?

the end on an era you call it. And though I pride myself in being a word smith - you get things said right more often. I will miss thinking of you and your room your house your world map on the wall, the secret CowMadWoman door that now leads to B's room.

I will miss the initial - our space when BH had just moved in, when i was scared of CowMadWoman (who wouldnt be??!!!)... When it was all new and mine to live how i wanted to. I will miss number 55 in all its ways and seasons... like i know you will too. possibly a lot more than i might.

era: people have changed faces in that house, people moved in and out, daffodils have srung from mud. I only saw the snowdrops!!! J plays werid noises that we all accept as music - new and great. Aphex Twin will give nightmares still tho...

take care of you in the Wilds we love! And yes, do remember - a patch of amazon with its own patch of seamless sky is yours to own someday!

Folk like us - wandering through life, make nests so precious only to tear them down. Some self destruct mode we function on. i sometimes wonder - do we tire of wandering? do we the non-ordinary crave for the ordinary joys of home and hearth?

do we? will I give up happily to marriage and babies? will you?

"Home Life"

I think I'm gonna stay home
Have myself a home life
Sitting in the slow-mo
And listening to the daylight
I am not a nomad
I am not a rocket man
I was born a house cat
By the slight of my mother's hand

I think I'm gonna stay home

I want to live in the center of a circle
I want to live on the side of a square
I used to be in my M-Z now
You'll never find me cause my name isn't there

Home life
Been holding out for a home life
My whole life

I want to see the end game
I want to learn her last name
Finish on a Friday
And sit in traffic on the highway
See, I refuse to believe
That my life's gonna be
Just some string of incompletes
Never to lead me to anything remotely close to home life

Been holding out for a home life
My whole life

I can tell you this much
I will marry just once
And if it doesn't work out
Give her half of my stuff
It's fine with me
We said eternity
And I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave
Not just some melody line
On a radio wave
It dissipates
And soon evaporates
But home life doesn't change

I want to live in the center of a circle
I want to live on the side of a square
I'd love to walk to where we can both talk but
I've got to leave you cause my ride is here

Home life
You keep the home life
You take the home life
I'll come back for the home life
I promise

- John Mayer

1 comment:

ElsaSchneider said...

Ami, where are you?


Just wave, if you're still alive *knock on wood...*